“Mary … ?” 

“Mary!”

It had happened again. She’d zoned out of the presentation. 

The presentation she was giving.

“Come again.” she calmly said, snapping her attention back into the boardroom and trying to save face. She leaned forward and took a sip from the fancy yet somehow heavy glass in front of her. The water was cool and sure to sharpen her wit. The room was beautifully decorated in a contemporary style, heavy on blacks with a hint of gold, and the temperature was comfortable enough for her pearl silk blouse and business suit. Heavy curtains hang across the floor to ceiling windows which made up one of the walls in the room so that the presentation she was projecting on the large TV screen would be visible. The view would otherwise have given to the sun setting behind the beautiful city skyline. She sat at the end of the oval table nearest to the TV screen. Around the table sat the seven-man-strong C-suite panel that she was presenting the business financials to. She was the CFO of an International Fortune 500 Company that was on that day hosting a team from their head office.

David, the Group CEO, had started talking and then just gone on and on. He clearly enjoyed the sound of his own voice. It was of course useful to listen to what the Group CEO had to say, no matter how difficult it was to follow the thread through the many irrelevancies he’d usually pepper in. Like how old his son was or how his batting average had improved. Perhaps it would eventually tie back to topic … 

And that’s when he’d lost her. Her mind had taken her to one of her favourite topics – the business idea she’d been nursing. She remembered how much energy the idea had initially fueled into her. Pouring herself into all the information she could get around it. Nervously pacing her charcoal coloured modern kitchen as she’d tried to land on the perfect business name. The excitement when it had come to her and how quickly she’d moved to trademark it and register the domain name. All her work around her business case. It had been like she’d accessed fresh vitality. Everything had seemed somehow … better. Brighter. More real.

That had been two years before. Her toddler business had moved from a “hopeful maybe” to a “soon” and then settled into a “not yet”. That’s where she’d drawn the line – the toddler who’d never been. 

She couldn’t really name what held her back. Yes she was busy at work and with all that life brought with it, but she’d also been busy when she’d been planning it out. In those two years, the colours of her life had faded out of vibrancy and she felt … heavy. Slow. Conflicted.

“Yes, that’s a very good point, David,” she said having gotten back into the presentation. She’d always been brilliant at work. She always would be.  She went on to paint a picture of the strategy they would use to circumvent the concern David had raised. 

She was always a couple of steps ahead at work. 

She was always a number of steps behind with her own business. That couldn’t carry on. She had to make a decision.

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For women who want a structured way to approach these decision thresholds, I’ve created a complimentary Orientation to Decision Making. It’s a starting point.