He was always there. Always. You couldn’t get away from Him. Like a resourceful stalker, He knew everything you did. He knew when you turned out the lights in the privacy of your little room and touched yourself. He knew what you thought about when you did. He even knew what it felt like to you. He was always there. They promised that He was all knowing and all powerful. A Father.

He had a temper. An all powerful father with a temper was problematic. That you couldn’t hide from him just made it worse. What would bring forth his wrath this time? When would the reckoning be? There was always a reckoning. Love and punishment inextricably mixed like the holy water and wine.

He had a Son whom He forced on you. You had to take the Son in you. No questions asked as none would be answered. Do as you are told. Don’t think. Don’t argue. Don’t be difficult. This is just the way it goes.

He was kind and soft at times. Those are the times you lived for. In times like those, you could get yourself to believe that nothing else had happened. Nothing else mattered. Just that smile, though. It didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked at you when you prolonged your stare. Changing his regard as if to take you in for the first time. Surprised that you could see the being under the mask.

Your appointments with Him were once a week. There were many people there and you hoped to blend in with the crowd. You considered the other people intently, trying to see if they were putting on an act of feigned reverence. Were they here for the Bread? Was it a show? Did they drop the facade when they were quietly alone contemplating their lives? Were they unknowingly in a cave watching shadows pass them by?

He left and you forgot him. Forgot everything about him. A slate wiped clean. A chance to start afresh. Except … the slate wasn’t clean. It would never be. The putrid underside – the side of the mask you held up to your face – crawled with unspeakable creatures and vermin. Your every step, thought and action was infected by him. You were decaying.

You needed to get away from Him. His existence was incompatible with yours. Something had to give. You needed help.

Then She appeared. She had answers. She saw you. She knew you. From long ago. A past long forgotten. She could save you. She was you. You could save yourself.

You’re saved.

The mask falls away.